Feeling a little depressed lately

[reluctant_gargoyle]

I dunno, I've just been feeling depressed lately.  Maybe it's a seasonal thing; I'm up maybe eight hours a day tops right now.  I've generally accepted that being a Gargoyle comes with some time restrictions, but right now, it's really bumming me out.

And then there was the whole mess with River.  She and her brother were nearly killed because of me.  Because a Gargoyle brought her in and attracted the attention of the Quarrymen.  And the Quarrymen themselves, when they're not doing out and out violence against us, it's their war with words that really bothers me.  Treating us like monsters or demons or worse, holding us responsible for everything that goes wrong in society, wanting us to be caged or wiped out...

And then, finally, I met a Goliath alternate.  I don't understand all the details, but somehow, something changed in his universe and he and Lexington became humans, while two other people became Gargoyles, along with the dissappearance of all things magical.  He's married to his version of me, and she's pregnant.  They're gonna have kids.  And yes, Goliath and I will someday too, but that's twelve years away, six months before I'd lay the egg, and then another ten years for it to hatch.  There's is a lot more immediate.  And those kids won't grow up in a world where they need to worry about the mob with torches and pitchforks.

I am happy with my life.  I have the greatest guy in the multiverse beside me, I've helped save the world several times now, great friends from across all worlds, and there's little that can match gliding.

But sometimes, I look and I wonder.   About what might have been and where my life might be now, if I wasn't a Gargoyle. 

Comments

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

"OKay, this if just plain weird," Elisa says. "I mean, if it wasn't for this nose of mine, I wouldn't be able to tell you two apart."

[evil-god-monkey.livejournal.com]

She nods. "I didn't know she'd look exactly the same as me."

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

"Didn't I mention that? I really should have."

[evil-god-monkey.livejournal.com]

"Probably. But it's okay." She smiles.

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

"Well, if I ever run into any more of you, I'll add that into the description."

[evil-god-monkey.livejournal.com]

"Good idea."

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

"I have 'em from time to time."

[evil-god-monkey.livejournal.com]

"You seem to have a lot of them," she says.

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"She's not quite the same as me, mind."

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

"Close, but not quite," she agrees.

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. I know there's some similarities."

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

And the Faye I know best has had very different life experiences. Being tortured, all the problems with Ben, the energy-draining thing...

"Just living different kinds of lives is bound to have some effect on that."

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"Well, yeah," she agrees. "Is something wrong?"

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

She brushes the thoughts aside and smiles. "No," she says. "Just got a lot on my mind these days, I guess."

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"Alright, then."

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

((new comment to prevent breakage with new layout))

"As I'm fond of saying, the eyes can be fooled, but the nose knows."

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"Yep, that's definitely true."

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

"Yep. 'course, it doesn't usually work for most alternates... But most alternates don't come in regular and super-powered varieties."

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"I guess. So, how long has she had her powers?"

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

"Since about late March, I think."

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"Know what caused them?" An innocent question.

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

((and another new thread-line))

"Yeah, she did, didn't she? Just part of who she is, I guess. She's certainly not afraid to tell it like it is."

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"Heh. I noticed."

((You going to check Victor's journal? Her mun just posted.))

[elisa-garg.livejournal.com]

((Yeah. hadn't checked my friends list in a bit today))

"Just don't get on her bad side and you'll do fine."

[alternate-faye.livejournal.com]

"I'll be sure to remember that."

((I'm going to sleep now. Later!))