Feeling a little depressed lately
Jun. 26th, 2007 02:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reluctant_gargoyleI dunno, I've just been feeling depressed lately. Maybe it's a seasonal thing; I'm up maybe eight hours a day tops right now. I've generally accepted that being a Gargoyle comes with some time restrictions, but right now, it's really bumming me out.
And then there was the whole mess with River. She and her brother were nearly killed because of me. Because a Gargoyle brought her in and attracted the attention of the Quarrymen. And the Quarrymen themselves, when they're not doing out and out violence against us, it's their war with words that really bothers me. Treating us like monsters or demons or worse, holding us responsible for everything that goes wrong in society, wanting us to be caged or wiped out...
And then, finally, I met a Goliath alternate. I don't understand all the details, but somehow, something changed in his universe and he and Lexington became humans, while two other people became Gargoyles, along with the dissappearance of all things magical. He's married to his version of me, and she's pregnant. They're gonna have kids. And yes, Goliath and I will someday too, but that's twelve years away, six months before I'd lay the egg, and then another ten years for it to hatch. There's is a lot more immediate. And those kids won't grow up in a world where they need to worry about the mob with torches and pitchforks.
I am happy with my life. I have the greatest guy in the multiverse beside me, I've helped save the world several times now, great friends from across all worlds, and there's little that can match gliding.
But sometimes, I look and I wonder. About what might have been and where my life might be now, if I wasn't a Gargoyle.
And then there was the whole mess with River. She and her brother were nearly killed because of me. Because a Gargoyle brought her in and attracted the attention of the Quarrymen. And the Quarrymen themselves, when they're not doing out and out violence against us, it's their war with words that really bothers me. Treating us like monsters or demons or worse, holding us responsible for everything that goes wrong in society, wanting us to be caged or wiped out...
And then, finally, I met a Goliath alternate. I don't understand all the details, but somehow, something changed in his universe and he and Lexington became humans, while two other people became Gargoyles, along with the dissappearance of all things magical. He's married to his version of me, and she's pregnant. They're gonna have kids. And yes, Goliath and I will someday too, but that's twelve years away, six months before I'd lay the egg, and then another ten years for it to hatch. There's is a lot more immediate. And those kids won't grow up in a world where they need to worry about the mob with torches and pitchforks.
I am happy with my life. I have the greatest guy in the multiverse beside me, I've helped save the world several times now, great friends from across all worlds, and there's little that can match gliding.
But sometimes, I look and I wonder. About what might have been and where my life might be now, if I wasn't a Gargoyle.
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